Love is supposed to be a refuge, a place where you feel safe and supported. But sometimes, love goes dark, twisting into something cruel and controlling. Maybe you've started questioning things, a nagging feeling that something just isn't right. Here's the truth: recognizing abuse can be tricky, especially when the person you love is the one hurting you.
Don't Doubt Yourself: It Happens More Than You Think
The biggest trick an abuser pulls is messing with your head. They might twist your reality, leaving you wondering if you're overreacting. This is called "gaslighting," and it's a powerful tool for keeping victims trapped. If you're questioning your sanity, that's a red flag. Here are some things to watch out for:
The Hitting and Shoving Kind of Abuse: This might seem obvious, but abuse isn't always about black eyes and broken bones. It can be a pinch here, a shove there, anything that makes you feel physically violated. It's also about destroying things you care about or invading your space in a way that makes your skin crawl.
Words That Cut Like Knives: Emotional abuse can be just as damaging, if not more so, than physical abuse. Constant put-downs, insults, and criticism can chip away at your self-esteem. Being called names, being made to feel like you're "crazy" or worthless – that's abuse, plain and simple.
Cutting You Off from the World: Does your partner get jealous of your friends and family? Do they try to control who you see and talk to? This is a classic tactic of abusers. They want to isolate you, make you dependent on them, and easier to control.
Money Matters Become a Weapon: Financial abuse is about controlling your finances or stopping you from working. Maybe your partner takes your paycheck and gives you a small allowance, or forbids you from getting a job. Financial dependence keeps you trapped.
Sex Shouldn't Be a Battlefield: Being pressured into sex, or forced to do things you're not comfortable with, is abuse. Love shouldn't feel like a battle where you have to constantly fight for your boundaries.
You Deserve a Love Story That Doesn't Leave You Bruised
This isn't an exhaustive list, but it's a good starting point. If you recognize these signs in your relationship, know this: you are not alone. There is help available, and you deserve a love story that fills you with joy, not fear.
Getting Help: You Don't Have to Go Through This Alone
If you're experiencing abuse, talking to a therapist can be a powerful first step. A Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) can provide support, guidance, and help you develop healthy coping mechanisms. They can also help you create a safety plan and connect you with resources to leave an abusive relationship.
Remember, you are strong, and you are worthy of love and respect. Don't be afraid to reach out for help. There is a brighter future waiting for you on the other side of abuse.
